Monday, February 11, 2013

Confidence

There were so many questions I had about how our life would change with child #2. Most of my friends with more than one kid would say that, yes, many things were more challenging, but also many things were more enjoyable because you had confidence in your parenting skills. I am finding that to be true, thankfully.

Not that we haven't had our struggles. We have, and continue to. (Example: up 4 times last night with a 4:45am feeding - ugh). In some ways, I also think parental confidence contributes to my frustration, mostly in the middle of the night. I'm anxious to get past this phase as I know the sweetness that is a child who sleeps for 11-12 hours. The first go round I didn't know any better!

I can read Georgia's cues better that I could with Ellen and I have the confidence to make more decisions on my own that seem right for our family rather than doing everything by the book. Our first week back to school/work was a crappy one due to a nasty viral illness, but before that I really thought Georgia was showing signs of dropping a feeding. I was generally waking her for all her feedings and she was starting to eat poorly at her last feeding because I think we were disrupting her sleep. Also, I wanted her to get in bed sooner so everyone else could go to sleep. Some of my books say that kids will start to go to 5 feedings around 13-14 weeks, though I don't think we did it with Ellen until like 18 weeks. Georgia's sickness derailed my plan in some ways, but also her appetite was poor and she was refusing to eat, thus dropping a feeding on her own. Instead of forcing the issue, I decided to go with it. The first couple of days were kind of rough and I emailed a friend for support to make sure I wasn't being crazy, but then it all just sorted itself out. I just kept telling myself - what is the WORST thing that could happen? Feeding her during the night? That's not so bad. (I did do that for 2 nights, then that was it). Also, if all else fails, you can revert to the old schedule. Her new schedule is much better for our school/work days, so I just made it work. There will come a time when our schedule as parents must revolve around the kid schedule, but now is not that time.

I've also been emailing with my cousin who is expecting her first child in the very near future. I generally walk a fine line between providing a lot of information about my experience and scaring the bejeezus out of people. I was telling her all about pumping, thus prompting me to look back at what I did with Ellen. I pumped WAY more with Ellen, mostly because I was afraid to stop for fear of a plummeting milk supply. I find that there just isn't a ton of info about how to fit pumping into your breastfeeding life if you are working full or part-time. I threw away tons and tons of milk with Ellen and still had like a 2 month supply in my freezer after I weaned her. I felt like I spent all of my time on "milk maintenance". This time, I clearly had the benefit of knowing that I would more than likely have a generous milk supply, so I've tried to do things to make sure I have adequate, but not excessive, milk for Georgia. With Ellen, I would feed her on one side and then pump - every morning for 9 months. I could have been sleeping!! I did this for awhile with Georgia, then just decided to feed her on both sides and I weaned off that morning pumping recently. Saves probably 10 minutes each morning, which is precious. Also, since I dropped a feeding, I only have to pump twice at work, another big time saver. I nurse her when she wakes up and pretty soon after we get home, then again before bed. She rarely refuses to eat on a side, but if she does I don't worry about it. With Ellen, I would have pumped. I've saved a lot of time and frustration ... and freezer space.

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